What to Know About Defensiveness and Psychology

Whenever someone attacks us. Usually mentally not physically. Like at times when someone would talk about a sensitive part of yourself with disregard and disrespect, it is quite difficult to listen to whatever that person has to say with an open mind. The first thing our mind automatically thinks of is to defend ourselves. We show these people immediately like a reflex action another side of us that they usually did not expect. We might also try to attack the flaws that other person has. We all know that criticism is very painful. It hurts different parts of us. Especially parts of ourselves self we love personally speaking but someone has used that little part which brings us self-love and wants to turn it against us. Well over time this has been done to me and recently I’ve realized that fighting off these insensitive people just wasn’t working. So I learned how to dodge their attacks. Instead of blocking it or redirecting the attacks back to them. I simply dodged it and let it waste. Knowing, yes, this is who I am, your criticisms wouldn’t work on me. And at that moment I turned the attack back into a normal conversation. Broke them off guard and the battle was won.

How to use Psychology to Win Mental Battles without being Defensive 

First of all, we get defensive because people want to attack or touch parts of ourselves we don’t joke with. Think about a Mother and her Child and you want to play with that child. How do you think the mother is going to react to you. She is automatically going to get defensive. So that is how is it with us and our minds too. You understand. When we sense any danger it’s either we Fight or Flight. Most of us take the fight option and we are ready to burn down anyone who crosses our path. 

How to be Properly Defensive 

At times a friend of ours might be just kidding or trying to fun around and then they would touch a part of you that you’re sensitive to. They might not know about this. At that point, when you are all in fight mode, you need to calm down, realize this person doesn’t know what they are doing, and find peace that moment. Simply dodge the attacks as I said earlier. Make them know that all the things they are trying to do would not work. You are stronger than this, you are stronger than them. They can’t bring you down.

Using techniques like Self Love trust me, it always works. It always calms me down. I also have this technique no one knows about. Whenever I’m bothered by anything or everything, I just tap my fingers on each other. For as long as I would need. I just keep taping and taping and my mind says “Everything would be fine” “Everything would be okay”. And before I know it, I’m doing great.